Welcome to episode #66 We’re thrilled to be joined by Rebecca Arnold today.
REBECCA ARNOLD, JD, CPCC, PCC, is a professional, certified coach and the founder of Root Coaching & Consulting, LLC, a holistic leadership coaching firm for ambitious professionals. She has worked with 100+ leaders in the fields of education, medicine, law, academia, and social-impact organizations. She is an attorney by training and has collaborated with organizations from Google and Harvard to Top 100 law firms and K-12 school districts. She’s known as a “straight-talkin’, big-hearted” coach. Her book, The Rooted Renegade: Transform Within, Disrupt the Status Quo & Unleash Your Legacy, shares the path to holistic success for mission-driven leaders. It’s a #1 Amazon bestseller and Kirkus Reviews called it, “A wide-ranging and impressively holistic approach to achieving personal and professional success.”
Welcome to the show, Rebecca!
Questions
- Can you tell us about your experience with neurodiversity?
- When did you realize that you weren’t neurotypical?
- About age 42- which I’m finding is more and more common among my peers (women with ADHD).
- I have been treated for anxiety and depression for most of my life, but it wasn’t until I had a child with ADHD that I recognized the symptoms in myself and was able to get a diagnosis. This seems like a common experience for parents of children with ADHD because there’s so much more awareness now than when we were children.
- What challenges did you face?
- Getting started and focused has always been difficult for me, but I did very well in school because of what I now realize were maladaptive coping mechanisms. I procrastinated and stayed up all night finishing assignments in high school, college, and law school.
- This led to me getting to the point of hallucinating in the middle of the night working on finals in law school because I’d stayed up for multiple nights in a row.
- When I had kids and started work again, the tasks built up more and more and I could no longer rely on procrastination. I ended up burning out because of massive anxiety overload and sleep deprivation.
- I’ve since learned that the effects of anxiety mimic ADHD medications, so of course many of us who are undertreated for ADHD use anxiety to self-medicate. Many of us also have anxiety as a separate diagnosis, so I do want to make that clear. In a world that doesn’t understand or value neurodiversity as it should, anxiety seems to be an obvious byproduct.
- The anxiety-fueled productivity masked what was going on underneath.
- It was tough to sleep. Combined with adrenal disease, it was really challenging - led to burnout of 8 months.
- Writing the book, especially editing required support from others
- Can edit things forever.
- Hard to cut through the pressure of doing things alone
- What is it like now?
- I have medication that works- yay!
- And I’ve learned so many hacks that help me work with my ADHD
- Hacks wax and wane over time
- Accountability buddies
- I’m really choosy about the type of work I do because I know that if it plays to my strengths and talents, I’m fire and if not, it’s torture.
- I’m also very intentional about ways to generate motivation (connecting a task to my purpose, considering who the work is for and its impact, allowing myself to get excited and follow my energy- instead of treating my to-do list like my boss).
- What neuro-exceptional strengths are you leaning into now?
- I’m great at coming up with new ideas for my coaching business
- Many people post-pandemic have ADHD-like challenges with focus, procrastination, and productivity, so I’m able to share with my neurotypical clients strategies that support me (and they work for them too)
- I can get a lot done when I’m motivated, so I capitalize on that.
- Deep empathy
- Can be a distraction as well as a superpower.
- Tangentiality means she can join dots and see patterns easily.
- Creating own rules (came from being socialized as a woman, pressure to be perfect). Rebelled against perfection.
- What "work" projects are you concentrating on?
- I’m focused on spreading the word about my book, The Rooted Renegade because it’s packed with practical tools and strategies that I know will support people.
- The impetus for the book was videos that Rebecca was releasing during pandemic
- Messages for videos translated to book
- Framework for holistic success
- Calming emotions
- Existential peace - align work with purpose, habits with goals
- Relational peace: positive relationships with self and others (instead of sucking us dry)
- 50+ tools
- Talk to the book while writing it
- Doing deep work with my executive and leadership clients.
- Running my business in ways that fulfill me like being aligned with my purpose, hiring people who are values-aligned, and building time and space into my schedule for deeper work, connection, rest, family, and play. JN: How about the rest of the time? What do you enjoy doing in your off time? (5 minutes - T+25)
- Productivity tips
- What do you do to optimize productivity during your working hours? Examples: creating energy/focus-aligned to-do lists, doing focused work at particular times of day, working in noisy environments for tasks that require focus or that I’m avoiding, having accountability partners who cheer me on and ask how my projects are going, batching tasks I’m avoiding, work blocking, getting enough sleep and eating well, strategic breaks, lovingly telling on myself, and so much more!
- Accountability partners
- Time of day:
- 9am-12 best time to GSD
- 2pm energy dip
- Changing environments - Going to coffee shops
- Coffitivity - streaming coffee shop noise (link to come)
- Movement breaks:
- Take the dog for walk
- Get coffee
- Goals posted on wall
- Vision Board
- Being able to see goals helps with object permanence
- Suck Sandwich
- Work on something fun
- Work on something really hard/sucky
- Work on something fun
- Focus/energy - aligned todo-lists. E.g. Checking in on how the focus is and then picking the lists that are aligned with the level of focus.
- What is some unhelpful productivity advice that doesn’t work for you?
- I resist project plans, spreadsheets, task lists, and things that feel overly constrictive. Instead, I create these in ways that serve how my brain works (stickie notes/drawings/color)
- I don’t like having a set schedule- I crave novelty, so I mix up my schedule all the time.
- “Do the most important thing first”- nope. It’s hard for me to figure out what’s most important and if I hate that task, I can’t start with it or it affects my entire morning. Instead, I use what I call the “suck sandwich”- I do a task I enjoy for a short time, then work on the task I’m dreading for a bit, and finish with something I enjoy.
- BREAK
- What does your morning routine look like and how has it evolved over time?
- I don’t have a morning routine, other than showering, dressed, having coffee, getting kids out the door to school, and then getting to work. Sometimes I run before I work. Sometimes I walk. Sometimes I get right to it. Depends on the day.
- Routine changes all the time to combat routine fatigue.
- Start with something motivated to do: that’s the way she guarantees she starts on time.
- Dialogue with yourself throughout the day
- Acknowledging choice in actions and perpetuating patterns and habits.
- How is your sleep? How do you switch off at night?
- I am tired a lot, so it’s pretty easy for me to turn off my brain. If I’m feeling overly activated when I’m trying to sleep, I do the NYT spelling bee, connections, and small crosswords. These activities tax my brain enough that it gets worn out and ready for bed. Then I read for a few minutes and fall asleep.
- Often able to sleep within 2 minutes
- Sleep with dog
- Sometimes use meditation podcast
- Revenge bedtime procrastination?
- Happens if the day was not set up well - work/relationships not satisfying
- Breaking bad habits
- Open awareness while doing bad behaviors - “How are my eyeballs feeling right now?”
- Where can people connect with you or find your work?
- therootedrenegade.com to find out more about my book, and there’s a link there to coaching if you’re interested.
- Can sign up for newsletter
- I’m also on LinkedIn and Instagram at root coach.
- Do you have any final words or asks for our audience?
- I believe that part of the task of our lifetime is to know ourselves. For those of us with neurodiversity, it’s really important to understand what works for us and what doesn’t, without judgment. So many of us spend so much time beating ourselves up for what we aren’t instead of reveling in what and who we are. Imagine how much energy and time you’d get back if you held yourself with compassion and appreciation for your gifts.
Connect with Rebecca!
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Email: jeremy@focusbear.io
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Episode 66