Growing up neurodivergent can leave you believing you’re stupid or lazy — even when the real issue is the way school is structured.
In this episode we interviewed Dr. Neil Alexander-Passe about the lived experience of dyslexia, school-based trauma, and how neurodivergent people make sense of education systems that weren’t designed for them. They discuss identity, learning differences, productivity, and what it means to find ways of working that actually fit.
Dr. Neil Alexander-Passe is a psychologist, researcher, and author who has dyslexia himself and has spent over 20 years specialising in the emotional and mental-health experiences of people with learning differences. He has published 18 books (in English and Italian) and 13 peer-reviewed papers on dyslexia and neurodiversity, exploring links with trauma, creativity, success, parenting, and mental health. He completed his PhD in 2018, researching dyslexia, traumatic schooling, and post-school success, and currently works as an exam access assessor while continuing his research and writing.
Episode Highlights
01:44 – Late dyslexia diagnosis and growing up feeling “stupid”Neil describes being diagnosed with dyslexia at 12 and how years of misunderstanding at school led him to internalise the belief that he was “stupid,” shaping his self-concept well into adulthood.
02:40 – Changing schools and not fitting traditional learning He reflects on moving schools repeatedly and realising later that the issue wasn’t effort or intelligence, but a mismatch between dyslexia and rote, traditional teaching methods.
04:13 – Discovering strengths through art Neil shares how art college became the first place where learning made sense, allowing him to build confidence and a career after years of academic failure.
05:00 – Returning to education as an adult with the right supports As an adult learner, he explains how time, reduced pressure, and practical accommodations transformed his ability to succeed academically.
11:21 – ADHD traits and having multiple careers Neil talks about being assessed for ADHD and how having multiple roles and projects suits his neurotype far better than the idea of a single “job for life.”
22:30 – Writing at night and layered editing He describes his non-traditional writing process, including working late at night and using layered editing across digital and paper formats to support focus and clarity.
39:02 – Growing up neurodivergent: shame, strengths, and finding your keys In his closing reflection, Neil explains how neurodivergent children can grow up feeling “stupid or lazy,” and why finding individual strengths — rather than focusing on deficits — is key to long-term wellbeing.
Connect with Jeremy:
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/nageljeremy
Email: jeremy@focusbear.io
More from Focus Bear:
Website: https://focusbear.io
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/focus-bear/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@focusbearapp
Twitter: https://twitter.com/focusbear1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/focus_bear/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/focusbearapp/
Podcast: https://podcast.focusbear.io
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@focusbear
Episode 125